my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
