he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
