Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ANAL_BEED hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

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(614): View more from Ohio

you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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(613): View more from Ontario

Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

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(409): View more from Texas

There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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(785): View more from Kansas

She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.

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