i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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