i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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