lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
