i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
