SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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