do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
