So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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