dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
