I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
