i already hear my dad disowning me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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