just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
