I wish I could teleport
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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