this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
