Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
