Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
