you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
