You're so nebulous sometimes
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize
