I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
