his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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