look no pants
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
