I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
