so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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