Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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