Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
