that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
