What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
