Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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