That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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