I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
