Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We talked him into tasing himself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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