lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
