The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Are we still banned from the library?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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