So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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