got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
