I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
