I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
