I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
