help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
