Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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