Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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