you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
