I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
