you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
