Screwed.edu
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
