it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
