You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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