I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
